I was speaking with friends about what happens on the other side of life, I remember one of us saying what if all the dead folks are just laughing at us here on earth while they are enjoying their new life. What if they are somewhere a lot better than this earth enjoying everything they never got to enjoy while on earth? Unfortunately, all we can say is What if because none of us knows the real answer.
When I lost my brother, I really wanted closure, I wanted to have that final conversation with him, the conversation where he will tell us where he is going and that he will be okay. Of course, I didn’t get closure and I have had to find a new way to accept the situation.
Closure implies a complete acceptance of what has happened and full embracement of finality but how can one fully accept that a person you have come to know for 27 years is gone never to return? I guess by allowing yourself to go through all the feelings and not holding anything back. Eventually, it would lead you to acceptance.
It’s been one year and seven months since my brother left and a few things I have learnt:
- Fear and sorrow can almost paralyze you, but life’s resilience will amaze you.
- You realize spreading joy and peace is more important than petty fights.
- There will be moments that only your sibling would truly understand, and those moments will hurt deeply.
- Hearing others talk about their brothers or seeing siblings together can bring a sharp heartache, but it can also evoke happy memories if you let it.
- In time, you find peace and love in other relationships, leading you to accept that losing loved ones is inevitable and beyond your control.
To those who are grieving and seeking closure, remember that it’s okay to feel lost and overwhelmed. Give yourself the grace to experience your emotions fully. Over time, the pain will soften, and you’ll find comfort in memories and new connections. You’re not alone on this journey, and in your own way, you will find peace.
With Love,
Tilly
